50 shades of cray cray

Blog posts contain affiliate links. When you click on these links I earn a small commission that helps keep this blog running and support my coffee habit. If you have any questions, feel free to read my disclaimer and privacy policy. Thank you!

say a prayer for my husband yall. i’m about to fill you in on my basement of crazy that he so wonderfully puts up with.

ps. today is our anniversary too! love you honey!

pss. – this list does not have fifty items. i’m not that freaking crazy.

1. i don’t clean the bathrooms. i refuse to. it completely grosses me out. and chris is way better at it than i am. so i make him do it he does it with so much grace.

2. in the same vein – i cannot clean up dog poop, dog vomit, or any other dog/animal/human excrement that might find itself in our floor. i’ve even been guilty of leaving it there for chris to clean up in the mornings when i leave for work. (oh the shame). luckily it doesn’t happen often.

3. i’m deathly afraid of roaches and i will not be in the room with one. i had a terrible experience in the eighth grade and have never fully recovered. i have even called my friend’s husband at 9:30 at night to come over and kill one for me when chris was out of town once. yeep.

4. i leave all the lights in the house on and then blame it on chris.

5. i like to push buttons and open things. especially in the car. chris especially loves this about me.

6. my hair falls out by the handful and i usually leave it stuck to the shower wall and forget about it. when chris is especially lucky – i write messages with it.

7. i refold every towel, washrag, and dish towel he folds. i’m ocd particular.

8. i will stop in the middle of everything to check a text message, instagram a picture, or just look at my phone. i know this drives him nuts. i’m sorry honey.

9. i chomp ice. i’m terrible about it too – taking absolutely no heed for anyone remotely near me who can’t hear for me crunching it.

10. i have regular emotional breakdowns about having children. like three or four times a month.

11. sometimes i cuss like a sailor for no apparent reason.

12. i have to be the one to check the mail, every day, or i get angry. i love to get the mail! it is one of the happiest parts of my day.

13. i refuse to walk through the house barefoot. i always have on house shoes.

14. when i wear house shoes i drag my feet. like a five year old full of despair being pulled out of disney world.

15. i’m a total control freak. if there is a trip – i must plan it. i go behind chris and re-clean the kitchen because he didn’t do it like i would. i like for people to take the same route i would to get somewhere. i like for him to cook things the same way i do. this i just the tip of the iceberg.

16. when we travel i insist on leaving a hotel room better than i found it. i will leave all our dirty sheets and towels in a pile, wrapped in a clean towel. (1. it makes sure they get washed and 2. they don’t have to touch my dirty towels. ew). i put everything back where it came from and wipe down the counters in the bathroom.

17. i pick all the skin off my lips.

18. i love to peel sunburned skin. (sorry nina).

i truly feel sorry for my husband some days – and then i remember that he asked me to marry him, at a point in our relationship where i didn’t think he ever wanted to get married. he wanted to be with me and he was already in my basement of crazy. he loves me even more because of it, i think. so that makes him a keeper in my book. i’m pretty sure he is the only one who can handle my fifty shades of cray cray and that is why God put him here for me to marry.

thank you for these awesome, exciting, adventurous, and life-changing four years dearest. you mean the world to me. let’s have a go at another!