I’m back today with more Enneagram knowledge to impart on you! I’m sharing some common Enneagram myths & misunderstandings, some of which I see more and more through social media these days!
I’ve had this post brewing in my head for a while. The more I see the Enneagram shared on social media, the less and less people seem to truly understand about it. It hurts my heart a bit, not only because I love the Enneagram, but without really getting it, these people are missing out on the absolute BEST PART of the Enneagram – the growth and wisdom about yourself and others through it!
So today I wanted to share and maybe dispel a couple common Enneagram myths and misunderstandings with you guys, in hopes that it gives you a deeper understanding of it!
Common Enneagram Myths & Misunderstandings
Myth 1: You can be more than one number.
While we do have the ability and the opportunity to pull a little bit of energy from the strengths of ALL the numbers of the Enneagram (once we understand what those strengths are), true Enneagram wisdom teaches that everyone is one core number on the Enneagram.
Each number on the Enneagram is determined by a specific sin, motivation, and desire. All of the sins, motivations, and desires for each number are vastly different, Enneagram wisdom teaches that you can’t vacillate between two numbers. You have one core number that is connected (via dynamic movement) to four other numbers.
Let’s use this as an example. If this person is truly a 2, then they can absolutely have a 3 wing. (Each number has two wings, which are the two numbers directly to either side.) So a 2 can have a 1 wing or a 3 wing. So that part I definitely agree with.
However, a 2 is not connected to a 7 on the Enneagram at all. A 2 moves to 8 in times of stress and moves to a 4 in times of security. A 2 can have a 1 wing or a 3 wing. But the idea of “teetering between” two numbers on the Enneagram that are not connected is inaccurate. This is why it is important that you learn about the Enneagram on the whole, and as a tool, instead of just as a personality assessment.
Myth 2: You can be a “blend” of numbers.
When you take an online assessment, some places give you an answer that is more of a ranking for each number that you might be. It might be a result like “80% Seven, 15% Eight, 5% Five”. This might lead you to believe that you are indeed a blend of these three numbers but, as I mentioned before, you have one true core Enneagram number. So here is another example that I have seen on Instagram:
This kind of made my brain fry a little bit! If I had to guess, this person is most likely a 3 on the Enneagram with a 4 wing. (Three moves to Nine in stress, which is where that connection likely comes in). It might just be a misuse of terminology, but to say you are a three way tie between these three numbers is really just confusion about Enneagram wisdom. Also – the titles given to each number are really meaningless without doing Enneagram work. Which brings me to my next myth!
Myth 3: One number is better than another.
No, no, and no again. There is no number that is better or worse than another. All of the numbers have their own strengths, weaknesses, desires, and passions. That makes them all unique but it doesn’t make a person who is a six better than a four.
Also, people do get hung up a bit in the descriptive names that are given to each number:
- Perfectionist/Reformer
- Helper/Giver
- Achiever
- Individualist/Romantic
- Observer/Investigator
- Loyalist/Devil’s Advocate
- Enthusiast/Epicure
- Boss/Challenger
- Peacemaker/Mediator
These names all seem to give the number an action that they are good at, based on our definition of the name. But to understand the truth behind the sins and motivations of each number reveals what their name truly means…
For example, I’ll use the numbers in the photo above (Three, Four, and Nine). The three is called the Achiever. This sounds good right? Everyone wants to achieve things in their life. However, a three’s sin is deceit, and they are so good at deceiving themselves (and others) that they don’t even know how they feel about their own achievements. They feel what everyone else feels, but it only serves them to help them get to the top of whatever their current mountain is (whether that is work or personal or a relationship) and not to actually connect with other people in a meaningful way. So when you think of Achiever that way, it is not very positive is it?
A four is called a Romantic or an Individualist. Again, these words leave very positive connotations in our minds because somewhere inside we would all like to be the recipient or giver of romance, and we would all like to carve out our place in the world as our individual selves. However, when you take into account that the four’s sin is envy, and that they are constantly longing after what other’s have, while still wanting to remain unique as they are, you can see how that would quickly become confusing to a person.
And finally, a nine is called a Peacemaker or Mediator, which sounds lovely, and like we could use more of it in today’s society. However, a nine’s basic desire is to avoid all conflict, at any cost, including avoiding life and relationships that might cause conflict, which can lead to isolation. So a nine, even an opinionated nine, will hold their opinions to themselves and merge with others to avoid any conflict. So they aren’t really making peace between others, they’re avoiding life in order to avoid conflict. Do you see that marked difference?
Myth 4: The Enneagram is a personality test.
Now, I know I’ve called it a personality assessment 1000 times since I started learning about it, but you’ll never once hear me call it a personality test.
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I still don’t recommend a test (you can learn more about how to find out your number without taking a test here), but however you get to your number, you have to understand that that is just the beginning! It is not one of those things where you just take a test, or read and learn your number, and then say “oh, I’m a seven – guess that is it!” After that, there is work to be done!
Growth, improvement, learning more about others, empathy, compassion – all of the things in life that make you a better version of the person God made you to be! All of the work gets you back to your core essence – that God-breathed person way down deep inside that you’ve created this personality to protect from the outside world. The Enneagram is a TOOL and a damn effective one at that!
Myth 5: You can use your Enneagram number as an excuse for behaviors.
Probably one of the most important lessons I’ve learned through Enneagram wisdom, is the one that has taught me that this personality I’ve put on (my seven-ness) to protect my core essence is full of habitual, patterned, automatic responses. The automatic reframing of a situation into a positive light (a classic seven move) is a habitual response that keeps me from experiencing any pain or sadness in my life. And now that I know that, it is kind of one of those things that I can’t go back to.
So now, when someone hurts my feelings or something bad happens, I can’t just say “oh, well I’m a seven so I’m not allowed to or don’t have to feel that.” My seven-ness is not an excuse for my debilitating and hurtful behaviors anymore. I now have this knowledge (and what good is knowledge if you don’t use it?) that allows me to recognize negative situations, see them for what they are, and fully experience them. This gives me room for growth, for compassion, for slowing down, and for seeing experiences in a new light. Using my number as an excuse to get out of all of this is a farce, at best, and as far as I’m concerned, does a complete disservice to the Enneagram and those who are passionate about it.
Now, I’m sorry I got a bit ranty there at the end. (Really though I’m not, because I do love the Enneagram and what it has done for me!). But I just feel as though if I don’t say these things, they might not ever be said! Does this clear things up for you as far as some of the myths go? Or do you feel as confused as ever? Leave me a comment below and let me know!
