Buckle up friends – this is 4000+ words all about creating your signature style! I’m bringing in my stylist guru Taryn Meyer to help us all figure it out!
I’m not going to lie – this post has been sitting in my drafts for a long, long time. It is something that I have wanted to talk about, but haven’t been able to find the right words because creating your signature style is such a personal thing! It depends on your body type, what your budget is, what your fashion preferences are, your stage of life – so many things that might be so different from me and mine, that it could be completely irrelevant to everyone out there but me!
After lots of careful thought, I decided to take a somewhat abstract approach to this and share a post that is more about learning who you are, what you like, how to dress to complement your body style, and clothing that fits your age and stage of life. Instead of considering this a checklist of “things I need to fill my closet with”, read it knowing that my approach is more about educating you about yourself, helping you to discover what you love, what works for you, and what makes you feel great, and then buying clothing based on those tenants.
I’ve also brought on the help of one of my very best friends, who happens to also be a stylist, and a stylish person too! Taryn and I met a few years ago and became good friends before she and her husband moved to the other side of the world. (Yes Kent, still bitter about it). She has this way of instilling confidence in women through fashion and clothing choices and has a lot to say on the subject so you’ll hear from her quite often throughout the post. Another reason I value her point-of-view is because she is at a different stage in life (she has older kids) and has a totally different body type than I do – so she can bring a different perspective!
You can find Taryn’s blog, Method 39, here, and follow her on Instagram and Facebook too!
Creating Your Signature Style
The first thing we ought to do is talk about what a “signature style” even is. In her blog, Taryn likes to call it finding your Method to Style. For me, and for the purposes of this post, your signature style consists of pieces that look fabulous, fit in your budget, and make you feel amazing every time you put it on. A signature style is an outfit that you can put on while getting dressed in the dark and not worry that you’re going to walk out of the house looking like you… well.. got dressed in the dark!
A signature look is an outfit that you can put on while getting dressed in the dark and not worry that you’re going to walk out of the house looking like you… well.. got dressed in the dark!
One of the reasons I feel it is SO important to find a signature style for yourself is because there are so many influences out there – celebrities, fashion instagrammers, magazines, models, etc. – telling you to “wear this” or “buy that” or that something is a “must have” (I’ll admit, I’ve for sure told you that something was a must have!). Defining and having your own signature look will help you cancel out the constant noise that you hear and know what will actually work for you, without having to order things, get the wrong size, have the fit be wrong, have the style be wonky, and have to return it all and start over.
Defining and having your own signature look will help you cancel out the constant noise that you hear and know what will actually work for you
In short – having this signature look will not only have you looking and feeling great, but it will also save you lots of time and money as well.
Another thing to consider is that your signature look will change and evolve over time. What might work for you now, while you’re young and kid-free, may not work once you’ve had a couple of babies. What you might love now in your late 30s will probably change as you get into your 50s and 60s and your activities and priorities change. I just want to put that out there now, so that you don’t think you have to make all these decisions and then be stuck with them for the rest of your life because you’ve decided it is your signature look!
Now that I’ve made all these huge claims, I suppose it is time to start backing them up!
Stage of Life
Speaking as someone who has a five year old, and who is just coming out of the stage of life where I’m required to hold a baby or toddler on my hip, I can already tell you that bell sleeves and strapless dresses are not currently in my repertoire. It is just not functional to wear clothes that could easily get dipped in baby food or salsa or be pulled off me at the most inconvenient moment with a young child, right?
Taryn: I am in my 40s with two kids, 10 and 13, and I’ve been a stay at home mom and worked from home for 11 years. My style needs are less about how I can interact with my kids and stay clean and more about how I want to present myself consistently. So, while I still refuse to wear bell sleeves, because I too have a love of salsa, wearing a prety dress and heels to run around during the day is just as normal as my go-to distressed jeans and flowy top.
The stage of life you’re in will dictate a lot of what you want to wear on a daily basis. If you are currently at home and raising babies, you’re not likely to be getting dressed in work slacks on a daily basis. If you are rising up the corporate ladder, you’re probably not going in leggings and an oversized t-shirt to work. If you’re older kids are at the baseball park every weekend, you probably don’t need an entire collection of heels.
Think about your stage of life and what items of clothing really work for that stage and the challenge here is to be realistic. I’m not saying you have to sell your collection of Birkenstock sandals that you wore during that year of school in Europe, but now that you’ve graduated and are working at your dream job – it might not make sense to buy more Birkenstocks – since there is a big chance you’re not wearing them as often.
Budget
Budget is a big deciding factor when it comes to any wardrobe because, while having fancy, expensive things in your closet is fun, it is just not realistic for the average woman out there. My hope is that you learn to live within your means, even when it comes to clothing, because being fiscally responsible is important no matter what the other points of this article state. (Hello – I’m a big fan of Dave Ramsey – so I’ll be the first to tell you to put down the credit card if you can’t really afford something!)
Taryn: Sometimes you do need an item to level up your wardrobe, like a great fall trench coat, a classic pair or black heels, or a pair of really great jeans. I call these investment pieces. They come in all different price ranges, so depending on your budget (I like to refer to them as Style Dollars), you could be investing in one that is $150, or $500, or beyond. It is so important to know that your budget dictates whether or not you are buying an investment piece, not a brand. While an investment piece is meant to last a number of years, not just a season or two, it is about how much your budget allows for you to spend on your wardrobe.
It is so important to know that your budget dictates whether or not you are buying an investment piece, not a brand.
Thankfully, we have reached a time in society where you can truly be comfortable and stylish no matter what your budget is. That might mean that you have to sacrifice quality a bit, and take better care of what you do have, but a lack of funds doesn’t means that you have to dress a certain way.
Body Type
Taryn is bringing it in this section, since styling based on your body type is her specialty!! Take it away Taryn!
Our body type is so important for when we look to dress ourselves in a way that fits and flatters. Did you know that certain necklines are better for certain body styles? And the type of pant, skirt or shorts will be slightly different for each of us? Clothing is meant to complement our shape, no matter what it is, (YES, it’s possible!) And did you also know that your body type can change as we got through ALL THE THINGS in life, so read through all these tips, they may come in handy down the line!
The first thing to know about how I share Style Tips, is the end goal is to help everyone dress in a way that shows off their feminine side, and for me, the ultimate shape is Hourglass. It’s all about balancing out your look!
If you have a triangle shape, where you are broad shoulders, come in at the waist, and have no hips, then you want to have less volume in your shirts and sleeves, and more in your bottoms. A wide neckline will make your shoulders look wider. So this is where a classic T tucked into a pleated skirt will be great. Or go for a pair of A-line shorts that are narrow at the top and get wider. Reach for a pair of boyfriend jeans so the little bit of bagginess adds some volume to the bottom to balance out the look. A little less volume up top, a little more on the bottom.
If you have a pear shape, you want to do the opposite. Look for cute tops with a ruffle or a fun detail at the shoulder. A boat neck or a scoop neck helps the narrow shoulders look more broad and still provides great coverage if you are well endowed. You could also choose a top with a collar, or a drop sleeve or batwing sleeve, or layer a classic T with a blazer, chunky cardigan or scarf, while choosing a smooth material for your bottoms. The key is to avoid adding more volume to your bottom half and focusing on a little more volume up top in order to balance out your body shape.
If you have a round shape, or less curves, you want to find something that you can create a waistline with, and elongates your look. So V-necks are great for this! Creating a waistline with a belt, even if the outfit has a built in elastic one or none at all breaks up the shape as well, and then a pointed toe shoe (this can be a flat or a heel, whatever floats your boat!) It’s all about creating long lines to stretch your look out from top to bottom. I know it might seem counter productive to wear loose, flowy clothes; but it can help you to make a shape you don’t naturally feel like you have. You can untuck a blouse and choose an a-line flowy skirt. Or a dress! Accessorize and choose fun shoes to finish off your look so the eye goes from head to to! Create the look of an hourglass with accessories and looser fitting clothes that can be shaped.
It’s a whole new world out there and you will soon be seeing how you are looking at the clothes in the stores differently, seeing the subtle difference the right article of clothing makes on your, and then you’ll be dressing in the dark and looking sharp before you know it!
If you are petite, or partially petite, (YES, that’s a thing!), then you’ll appreciate how the petite section is not just for ladies under 5’3”, it’s also just smaller; and the details are brought to scale. Sleeves are shorter, pockets are smaller, hems are shorter, lapels on jackets are smaller….these might all be things that are perfect for your shape, or not quite right. Wearing petite pants maybe the best look for you; but if your petite tops just all seem a bit too small, try a regular size and see if the arm or shirt length are a better fit. Especially make sure you fit across your bust properly, because there is nothing worse than “busting out of your buttons”, so you may also need to check out regular sizing for that as well.
If you are long and lean, then you have a lot of freedom with your style. My BIGGEST style advice here is to be aware of your hemlines in all the dresses, skirts and shorts you shop for. This can be the hardest part of being tall, and you don’t want to sacrifice modesty for your style.
If you have a problem area (oh girl, we’ve ALL got one of those, right?!) then you want to either draw attention to it, or away from it. If you feel like your chest is too big, avoid ruffles and a bunch of details on it, and wear the opposite item of clothing (like ripped jeans and cute shoes) to be the focal point of your outfit. If you feel like you don’t have a butt, you want to wear jeans or shorts with a back pocket that has a flap so it adds volume; but in an “unintentional” way.
Dressing your body shape can be tricky; but if you make sure to look for inspiration from others that ARE your body style, and get advice from others who can help you pick the right pieces for your shape…GIRL! It’s a whole new world out there and you will soon be seeing how you are looking at the clothes in the stores differently, seeing the subtle difference the right article of clothing makes on your, and then you’ll be dressing in the dark and looking sharp before you know it!
Style Preferences
Taryn is still in charge here and is covering the different types of style preferences!
Ahhh, Style Preference. This also evolves. I often say, thank the Good Lord that I have a different style now in my 40’s than I did in my 20’s! There are a few different styles that I know well, which is what I will talk about here; but just know, my philosophy is, take a little bit from each one and mix them together to make it your own! That’s finding the your Method to Style! Why copy someone else when you were born to be YOU?
Classic – This is a look that is more timeless than trendy. Trends come and go; but a wardrobe full of classic pieces will always look great. These are pieces that may have solid colors or patterns that consistently come back each season (plaid in winter, florals for spring, etc) and can be worn year over year. A classic wardrobe will have some trends sprinkled in (you might go for a funky new top; but skip embracing the return of the bellbottom jean), and when you take care of your classic pieces, their dollars per wear goes down EVERY year, making you one savvy shopper with your style dollars.
Why copy someone else when you were born to be YOU?
Boho (called Bohemian) – this one is more easy going, flowy, less definition, very California vibe. Lots of neutral colors, natural fabrics and fibers (rope accents, tassels, straw hat for Summer, felt hat for Fall, etc.), yet also have very Navajo vibe in the patterns. The key here is comfort and often there will be layers. You’ll see lots of movement in these clothes, and alot of influence from the good ol’ hippie’s of the 70’s. Me? I love a good boho top or fun sandal; but I prefer to mix it in with my classic look, to create a style I feel the most comfortable in, feel like flatters me best, and adds an easy breezy look to my outfit. And that’s the kind of thing you should be looking for in your Method to Style! You can love something from EVERY style type, and mix it into yours.
Vintage – you like it old school baby. Nothing new for you because your goldmine is in consignment stores, which has your budget stretching to the max! What is old is new again, and this is very likely because fashion is just a re-interpretation of previous styles, a few years later! But you can always add a little vintage in with Boho or Classic to create your own signature look, and it’s spending your style dollars wisely!
Chic – You….are looking sharp, trendy and fashionable at all times. I would say this refers to a really well tailored look that can be casual in an upscale way. I like how a lot of styles can have Chic added to the end of it (Boho-chic, vintage-chic, etc) because the refined characteristics of Chic can be incorporated to any look!
Artsy – need I say more? Your clothes can be full of color and pattern and really make a statement, while screaming you love creativity. In fact, you might just be a DIY kind a gal, and create your own unique looks, with clothing you already own.
It’s important for me to say, not one of these styles listed above is exclusively for one age group. Ladies, I think we can all dress in a way we LOVE, and find a wardrobe that makes us feel incredibly confident, while looking our best at EVERY age. The key is making sure it FITS and FLATTERS, and we are deploying the right amount of modesty and respect for our bodies.
You may not love the phase of life you are in right this moment; but you are alive, you have choices, and you deserve to look and feel your best NOW.
You may not love the phase of life you are in right this moment; but you are alive, you have choices, and you deserve to look and feel your best NOW. Not JUST when you lose those pesky ten pounds, or after the pregnancy (ies), or once you ______________ (fill in the blank!). We often put ourselves last, and put off doing the things that could really make us love ourselves NOW. And I promise you, to find your signature style is not materialistic, it is not narcissistic, nor does it have to break the bank. Fashion will try tell you otherwise; but that is why Skye and I focus more on style. Finding what works, knowing what to look for, shopping with intention, and getting the RIGHT items to create a wardrobe that is versatile, and you really love, on budget.
Occupation
I debated on keeping or taking out this topic, because I don’t want anyone to think that you have to wear certain things just because you have a job outside the home or if you work in your living room all day (me!). But I think that once you’ve gone through the previous four points (stage of life, budget, body type, and style preferences) and defined those, then making choices based in your occupation will flow naturally after that.
For example, if you’re a student who is currently working her way through college at a coffee shop or a retail store, that doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have a say in your style preferences in your daily look. You can look professional and presentable, be comfortable and confident, and stay within your budget while you’re slinging coffee or ringing up someone at Target.
The same goes for a stay at home mom. When you’re carrying a baby on one hip and dragging a toddler with the other leg, being able to get dressed in the blink of an eye in something you feel great in (even if you’re hanging on the couch all day watching Peppa Pig), is something that you deserve so that you feel worthy and like a human (because the days where you don’t sometimes outnumber the days that you do!).
If you’re a young professional, it doesn’t mean that you have to forgo your own personal style and comfort in order to fit into the corporate world. So knowing what works best for your body type and and buying pieces that will last you that you can afford is key – all while honing in that signature look so that you always feel put together, which means that your confidence will be a precursor to whatever the day might bring.
If you’re past any of these stages in life, and always feel frumpy and like you’re wearing the same thing to work every day, learning to create a style that is your very own will give you back the ownership of your body and your confidence. It has felt for so long like you get dressed for everyone else every day, and it is time to take back that authority and move forward with confidence and excitement about your wardrobe again!
Items that are ALWAYS a No
It’s always a NO to wear clothes that just do not fit. When you wear something too big, it looks like you are hiding under a load of material. When you wear something too tight, it looks uncomfortable and leaves very little to the imagination. Neither are the most flattering for you girlfriend. There IS a happy medium!
Here’s my Hard No Rules for what to wear, as a 43 year old woman, with a 10 year old daughter watching my style pretty darn closely:
- Nothing too tight – those days are over. It does not matter that you have the best bod you’ve ever had in your life, there is zero reason to advertise that. You can most definitely dress in a way that HINTS towards that, and creates a curiosity as to just how great you look, without filling out all the edges of your clothing. And alternatively, if you are carrying more weight than you’d like, wearing super tight clothing can create the opposite effect and have you outlining everything about your shape, even the parts you might not love.
- Not too much skin – it’s legs or arms sister, not both! I promise you, if you have killer arms from all that yoga, we are going to ASSUME the rest of you looks great too. You really don’t have to show us! This may sound rough; but showing too much skin has an expiration date for me, and once you are past your late 30’s, it’s time to re-evaluate. Not because I don’t think you should feel great about yourself. Girl rock that bikini… on the beach or at the pool. But wearing a strapless romper with shorty shorts can almost look as though you are trying to dress too young. I firmly believe you are only as old as you feel; but there are infinite ways to look fit, confident and fabulous without showing everything.
- Too big – as I said earlier, this is a great way to hide, right? I know, you can’t find anything that fits you right as it is, so you just grab your husbands t-shirt and call it a day. You’re an awesome person, who cares how you look, right? Wrong girl. Just wrong. YOU are an awesome person and YOU should feel that way when you look in the mirror. If you have trouble finding the right clothes for you, then you might need to ask for help! Read up on how to style YOUR body shape, make a list of items you’d like to have, and then ask a salesperson to help you find them! They know the store inventory better than anyone, right? Don’t hide yourself girlfriend, the world needs you.
- Anything that needs a lot of adjusting – so when I say this I mean, if you stand up and have to readjust your look because it’s riding up, bunched up, gaping open, or just not self adjusting when you go from a sit to a stand, it is too much work and it’s not fitting you quite right. It’s one thing for our shoes to be painful; but if we can only look great in our outfit after a series of adjustments, then it’s kind of high maintenance. You want to go through any day or special event focusing on where you are and the people you are there with, not if your straps are showing, right?
Well, did you really make it all the way to the end? Or are you just down here looking for the reader’s digest version? You’re in luck! Here are the highlights:
- Your signature style consists of looks that save you time and money, while helping you look great and feel confident and comfortable every time you get dressed.
- Your signature style will depend on your budget, stage of life, body shape, style preference, and to some degree, your occupation.
- There are some things that you should never wear, regardless of your signature style, like clothes that are too loose or too baggy, ill-fitting, or that shows too much skin.
If you read every word of this post, then you deserve an award, or perhaps a hug or a cup of coffee! Did you find it helpful? Are you feeling inspired to curate your own signature style so you can weed out the things that really don’t work for you? Have a question for either of us? Chime in in the comments and let us know!
