I feel like already, this is a loaded blog post and we are barely ten words into it! But self-confidence and body acceptance is what I’m here to talk about today, and rather than beat around the bush I’m just going to dive right in, if that is alright with you? Let’s do it.
Brace yourselves. Summer is coming. Hot weather, sunshine, humidity, afternoons at the pool, lake days, and beach outings are in our very near future, and that also means it is the dreaded …. dun dun dun …. swimsuit season. So, in the interest of helping you enjoy your summer more and get out from underneath your big baggy t-shirt or bathing suit cover up (with tons of sunscreen, of course), I want to talk about how to feel confident in your swimsuit this summer.
The first thing I need you to absolutely, fully understand, is that being confident and feeling great in a swimsuit has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with what size swimsuit you wear, what kind of diet you’re on, how often you work out, or how much cellulite you have. It all unequivocally starts in your brain. It is a complete and total mindset shift – just like making any other changes in your life.
If you are going to change your eating habits – that starts with a mindset shift. If you are going to start working out – your brain has to be in the right place first. If changing your financial future is on your list of goals this year, it requires a major mindset shift. If you want to feel confident at the pool this summer… it is going to require a mindset shift.
How to Feel Confident in your Swimsuit This Summer
I’m going to share three beliefs with you that have changed the way I look at my body over the past few years and encourage you to add these into your daily mantras, tape them to your bathroom mirror, stick them on your fridge, whatever it takes. Repeat them to yourself daily and, most importantly, ALLOW YOURSELF to believe new things about yourself.
In addition to knowing these beliefs, you also have to give yourself the opportunity to believe them, allow yourself to take them in and see them about you, and give them space to fill the holes left by those old, unhealthy, noxious thoughts with these new, positive, truths.
Mindset Shift #1
Nobody, literally nobody, is as concerned about what you look like in a bathing suit as you are.
The day I figured this one out it was like a literal light bulb going off over my head. Think about the last time you went to the beach or the pool. If you are anything like me, I spent a great deal of time being jealous of how confident other women there appeared in their bathing suits. They looked like they didn’t have a care in the world and were laughing and having fun with their kids.
One day I took a moment to compliment another mom on how cute her swimsuit was and how great she looked in it, and she responded with a laundry list of why she really hated the suit, it was the only one she still fit in, and she hated how it cut into her thighs, made her back fat poke out, etc.
I just stared at her for a second and then realized that I had created this completely false narrative in my head about this woman I did not know and even though she exuded this air of confidence, inside her head, she was having the exact same thoughts I was.
So from that moment on, I kept that little conversation in the back of my mind, and every time I start to worry about what I look like in my bathing suit… I remember that I’m almost DEFINITELY the only one that has noticed it or even cares.
Mindset Shift #2
Please, for the love of God, stop that inner Negative Nancy who is judging what other women wear
at the poolanywhere at anytime.
Yeeeeep I said it. I know this is contradictory to what I just said – that nobody cares about what you look like in your bathing suit but you – but think about it… and this is hard for me to admit out loud, but there was a time in my life that I definitely said out loud to another human being that “they just shouldn’t make two piece bathing suits in sizes over Large”
Please, someone just slap me. Look, this was before I was as enlightened and empowered as I am now, so I ask for your forgiveness for my snobishness and naivety.
Now, back to the point at hand – if all you’re doing at the pool, or even a fraction of what you’re doing at the pool – is judging other women for their choice of suit, you’re spending a great deal of time poisoning your mind and creating part of the problem that is the reason I’m here writing this post today.
The world is hard enough for us without having to defend ourselves from other women who face exactly the same scrutiny and issues as we do. From the moment we are capable of deciphering messages from the universe, this is what we we hear:
- You’re dressed too skimpy/slutty and you’re just asking for it.
- You should show off your cleavage/shoulders/legs/ass more!
- You can’t be sexually active – you’ll go straight to hell.
- Girl enjoy your youth and don’t worry if they call you promiscuous.
- Aren’t you a little young to be getting married?
- Girl you better get married soon – that biological clock isn’t slowing down?
Do you see my drift here? No matter what we do, or what choices we make, there is always going to be someone out there, usually another woman, who has an opinion on it. WHY LADIES WHYYYYYYY? Just let people live their lives already – especially other women!
Next time you’re at the pool/lake/beach and one of those thoughts creeps into your head, I encourage you to punch Negative Nancy directly in the mouth, look at the women, and give her a mental round of applause – or even better, tell her how much she is rocking that swimsuit. #challengeaccepted
Mindset Shift #3
Your worth as a human is comprised of many many things, with the size and shape of your body being NONE of them.
This is one of the main points I am always trying to bring across to people. You, my sweet dear friend, are absolutely worth of all the things you desire on this earth, and the way you look in the bathing suit or what size clothing you wear has absolutely no bearing on your worth.
We have been brainwashed as women for years, years, that unless we look a certain way, we are not worthy of being happy, confident, and loved. This is the biggest and most important mindset shift, because these beliefs have held us all back for a long, long time from reaching our full potential in so many ways.
I’m so thankful for this whole movement that is happening with powerful women, it is truly amazing, but it can also feel very exclusive unless you are able to start believing this one important thing about yourself:
You are worthy.
I know this about myself because I’m a Christian, and I know that I am loved by God and worthy to Him, and that is the worth that matters to me. And sometimes that does feel like a copout excuse that doesn’t apply to everyone. But the truth is, whether you’re a believer or not, you are worthy.
It is very difficult to see other women succeed sometimes because we feel like “they have something we don’t” and that we aren’t worthy of that kind of success because we are missing something. It is easy for the first thing we assign to that missing something is how we look because that is the first thing we literally see.
We don’t see the blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights, and dedication that went in to whatever they’ve achieved, so we can’t compare ourselves to them in that way. But the easiest, and for sure the most ridiculous, is to look at another woman and determine that they are “prettier, skinnier, fitter, healthier” than I am, and therefore I’m clearly of no worth.
The only way to break this vicious cycle is to stop believing it, and that can only start with you.
I hope these three mindset shifts really and truly help you to feel like the most amazing, beautiful, and confident version of yourself this summer! If this post was helpful, I would love it if you shared it on your Facebook page, tweeted it out, or pinned it to your favorite board!
