{top five friday} keep a marriage fun, strong, & exciting

woo hoo it is friday again! funny how that happens – each week we watch the clock tick slowly, time slipping away and we wish for friday and then it gets here! yay!

today’s top five was inspired again by katie. that girl rocks my socks off. 🙂

yes this seems like a super obvious one but it is amazing how many couples i see who don’t even allow God into their relationship, let alone give him the top spot. {and most of the time these happen to not be the healthiest relationships} being in a relationship where both partners are so focused on making themselves and each other happy would start to get redundant if you ask me. i mean, having the hubs do the dishes makes me ecstatic! hunting is one of my husband’s passions and makes him extremely happy! but watching God work in my husbands life literally moves my heart. if you are focused on pleasing God and allowing him to work in your marriage and in your individual lives you will begin to live outside of the pattern of both only giving 50% to the relationship, a partnership, if you will. marriage is not a business. when both give 100% to God the relationship stands on solid ground and it will be blessed beyond the bounds of imagination.

i read blogs. a lot. whenever i get a spare second at work im clicking up my reader looking for some good decor advice or a funny blog to read. at home i read my novel. im obsessed with it. i can’t wait to see what happens. my husband noticed this the other day and asked me if i was spending so much time on these things i must not be getting much Bible reading done. ouch. but he was right. and if he hadn’t said anything i would have just carried on and grown further and further from God. he holds me accountable. hold your partner accountable to the things they want to accomplish (run a 5K), the things they need to do (read your Bible!) and things you know are good for them that they don’t like to do (eat that piece of fruit!). it creates that supportive bond that says “i love you and want the best for you so i am going to hold you to it!”

3. Teach each other something.

one of the first times my husband came over to hang out at my house my toilet quit working. um, can we say embarrassing? the thingy in the tank came unlatched. but, instead of just fixing it, he taught me how to fix it. he showed me where the latchy-majig went and how to fix it if it ever happened again. i was so impressed! to me it said “here let me show off my fix-it-all man skills but teach you how to be an independent woman” all at the same time. i have taught my husband the importance of balancing a checkbook and keeping up with your finances. sort of “let me show off my organize-it-all but tech you how to be an independent man” kind of thing.

each month my husband spends a couple of days in another town for a communal pastor’s meeting for those who are working through their ordination process. (if you want to learn about the united methodist commissioning and ordination process click here) he hates driving to these things but he loves it when he gets there. he spends time with those who are on his level – theologians going through the same things he is and who relate to the feelings and frustrations associated with them. these are connections he needs from other people that he can’t get from me. i love it when he is gone because i get to clean and work around the house. i connect with me again. and when we are reunited we are both a little bit better of a person. and that old adage absence makes the heart grow fonder is true – we are a little like giddy teenagers when we get back together! 🙂

5. Manage your and each other’s insecurities.

one of my husband’s biggest insecurities is trying to find a place to park at a large event or a big attraction, like a concert or six flags. i don’t really understand why it worries him so much but to ease that insecurity i just do the research beforehand so i can tell him where to go when we get there and he doesn’t have to worry about it. it makes him more confident and probably avoids an argument. managing an insecurity doesn’t mean avoiding it or ignoring one of your partners. it is the exact opposite. provide a plan to overcome that insecurity and do it in a loving and supportive manner. if i was say, scared of the dark {ahem}, my husband would perhaps hold my hand tight and keep a good conversation going as we walk through the super dark halls of the church after closing up for the evening so as to  keep my heart from bounding out of my chest. not that that really happens or anything. just a rhetorical example.

we most definitely don’t have a perfect marriage or relationship or sometimes even friendship. we also understand that a marriage is a dynamic, ever-changing almost breathing entity that has to be cared for and nurtured every minute of every day. and we agreed when we took our vows that we would be responsible for it. and we try every day to make that responsibility a priority.

what makes your marriage fun stong, and exciting?

linking up!